Happiness has been touted as something outside of one’s self . It tries to get us to believe that we are these helpless victims and that if we’re lucky we will find happiness. What a bunch of crap!
I recently had a client, who really believed that he needed this one person to complete him and find happiness. If this client had been a woman, people would describe this as the prince charming trap. A lot of religions promote this mentality as well. This is why so many people are unhappy.
Part of learning about happiness is about learning about yourself! Who you are? Who you are not? Who do you want to be? Learning that being selfish can in fact be a very good thing, it helps you set up boundaries! It helps you to say no to things that you don’t want to do. It help you to grow and discover new things. It helps you to take back your personal power!
I always get a kick out of people who freak out over Tarot decks. The two cards they usually go nuts over are the Devil and the Death card. The Devil is the best one to get, it usually reminds you that you need to stop giving away your personal power and stop playing the starring role as the victim! It’s about set boundaries, be it with family, friends or co-workers. It actually gets you to finally participate in your own life. It helps you to move out of being stuck and unhappy. It allows you to let go of friends that aren’t where you’re at right now. This is in no way a rejection or a judgement on them. If your paths are meant to cross in the future they will.
Now to the Death card, people always assume this card means that someone is going to die! Well yes and no! It is the ending of how they’re life has been up to this point. It is the new beginning for how they want to move they’re life forward. Examples: Single person is getting married. It is the death of they’re single life and the beginning of they’re married life. The Death card is a blessing since it means that there is a new beginning coming.
Happiness is within all of us, it was never outside of us. I’m not going to say this is a mind-set. It is actually about self discovery and uncovering or pulling back the layers on yourself and finding those great things about yourself that you love and like. This is not about someone’s opinion of your or they’re judgement of you. They don’t get to have a say in this! Why? Because this is not they’re life! If your constantly surrounded by people who tear you apart or toxic people. You might need to start cleaning house. Caller Id is our best friend and so is voice mail, start screening those calls. These are the best ways to get rid of toxic people if your lousy at boundaries.
You will start to notice the more these people aren’t in your life, the better you start to feel. You will finally find out what it feels like to be calm. Most people find out that they’re less depressed. Once you find that calmness and inner peace you will never let someone take that from you again. Surprise that is what happiness is! Being at peace with yourself whether you have someone in your life or not. It about not having Drama in your face 24 x 7.
Unfortunately, they didn’t do a movie about this! Why? It wouldn’t sell! So start taking life one day at a time and start seeing how you start to feel. Oh and be sure to hit the off button on the cell phone it allows for sometime to yourself that you’re not being tracked down by the electronic age.
Raven Hawke, Llc (MN, USA)