Dark Night of the Soul

The journey called the “Dark Night of the Soul” is not a punishment. It is sort of a test to get you to the next level. It’s a way to get in your face, and get you to grow. Sometimes its relationships, money, jobs, housing dramas. The gifts you receive after this journey can almost seem like you’ve won the lottery.

It is a way to get you to release things, jobs, people who are no longer a match to where you are heading. This is not a judgement against those things. It’s about you growing as a person. Sometimes its about the “Shadow Work.” What exactly does that mean? It’s about taking back your personal power and not being a door mat to other people. It’s about respecting boundaries. It’s about not rescuing everyone from themselves.

It’s also about facing your dragons, demons that you’ve created for yourself. This is not about putting yourself in dangerous situations. Although, some people constantly do this and are some how oblivious to the consequences. This is about making peace with yourself. If there are things about yourself that you want to change then here is your opportunity. If there are things that others don’t like about you. You need to decide if you like or don’t like that about yourself. Everyone has a light, grey and dark side to them. This is just who we are as a whole. No one is a saint!

So as you hit rock bottom, take time to reflect and see what areas of your life you’re at peace with? Sometimes these changes come from the result of a divorce. Take responsibility for those things that are yours. The rest, let it go! Things happen to people all the time. It’s not because people are good or bad that stuff happens. So don’t judge yourself or others.

Penny J.

Raven Hawke, Llc (MN, USA)

info@ravenhawke.net

www.ravenhawke.net

 

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Thankfulness With A Twist

This is about exploring your present or past to build a better foundation for your future. Sometimes we to through unpleasant times and the take away can vary by individual. It can be learning what we don’t want in our lives. How to fix something? That we can survive and we are strong?

A lot of these lessons sometimes can’t be learned in a classroom. That’s not saying that we wish to go back to these experiences in any shape or form. It is to acknowledge that we have learned and grown from them. In some cases what we learned can be shared with others.  These experiences also have made us stronger, and learned things about ourselves that we might never have learned.

Penny J.

Raven Hawke, Llc (MN, USA)

info@ravenhawke.net

http://www.ravenhawke.net

Are You A Whole Person or A People Pleaser?

We currently have a world where it seems like the inmates of an insane asylum are running this planet. Do you constantly look over your shoulder figuratively as well as literally? Almost as if you don’t somehow live up to someone elses standards you will be discovered to be somehow lacking! Are you living your life or just going through the motions? Do you even know who you are?

What does it mean to be a whole person! It means that you’re not perfect, you are exactly as nature intended you to be. It is those flaws that make you who you are! When you don’t have all that pressure to be perfect in everyone’s eyes. You actually gain some breathing room to live your life and make mistakes and sometimes stumble along the way til you find the path that is right for you! Not someone else’s path or walking in someone else’s shoes to live their dreams for them.

Life is to be lived and not a spectator sport. That means you will make mistakes. You will look back at some parts of your life and its okay to feel embarrassed about things that you did in your youth. That is what’s called growth. You acknowledge the mistakes, move on and don’t keep beating yourself up for things that are in the past. You might know how to handle those situations now in the present or not. If not you, find someone who does and learn from them. Either way this is growth!

If we never had change we would just stagnate and die. That’s how a species goes extinct. When you live up to other Peoples standards, which can be stressful and sometimes an impossible task to master. There is a trade-off! Are you starting to lose yourself as a person or even your soul to be someone you’re not? It is our imperfections that make us stand out from others be it good or bad. When you actually start to make peace with who you are as a person. You start become more calm. You can still change the things that you would like to tweak about yourself within reason.

This is growth, when you come to terms with faults and strengths. All of us have both light and dark so to speak. It is what makes us whole. You can temper some of your traits that you consider undesirable by allowing yourself to play more. What do I mean by that. If you have a temper, you allow yourself to express yourself in healthy ways so you don’t explode later in a work environment. Some people allow themselves to express this in sports, while others use journaling as an outlet. Some choose to talk to a therapist. This allows them to be who they are while learning tools of healthy expression.

In most current work environments there can be bosses that are very antagonistic. Where if you really said what was on your mind you might lose your job. One way is to right down everything you’d like to say to this person’s face. One it allows you to express yourself in a healthy way. If you have a fire pit or wood fireplace, you can burn what you’ve written as a way to release it.

Over time we start to face our dark side, this is not a bad thing. It is actually very healthy. It allows us to see ourselves in a new light without judging ourselves. By allowing it out to play. It allows us to be in control of our dark side without it controlling us. It starts to soften some of those rough edges that we didn’t like before. It is our dark side that might have given us protection when we were a child. It might be a part of us that was rejected or judged as a child.

When we actually, explore this side of ourselves without judgement. We start to see where it originally came from. We can decide, if we want to make changes as an adult or if we’re fine with it as is? It can be very comforting to allow it to just be. This is about your personal journey and not someone elses. It might feel good to yell and scream in your car about something or someone who has upset you. It’s when we hold all of our emotions in and never allow ourselves feel that we start to make ourselves sick.

In some regards, we’re surrounded by fake people with their politically correct bullshit and this fluffy bunny shit about sending it love. If you don’t feel like doing any of that shit. Don’t there is no karma for actually having feelings and emotions. The only person you have to please is yourself. This culture of acting like a martyr is so restrictive it can feel like you’re wearing a straight jacket.

When you start to except yourself for who you are! You will start to find more calm in your life. You don’t get brownie points for keeping antagonistic people in your life. The last thing you need is people who are constantly picking you apart. Especially when they refuse to actually look at their own lives. By starting to live your life on your own standards you be taking steps to allow yourself to heal and grow as a person.

Penny J. (MN, USA)

Raven Hawke, Llc

http://www.ravenhawke.net

info@ravenhawke.net

Happiness

Happiness has been touted as something outside of one’s self . It tries to get us to believe that we are these helpless victims and that if we’re lucky we will find happiness. What a bunch of crap!

I recently had a client, who really believed that he needed this one person to complete him and find happiness. If this client had been a woman, people would describe this as the prince charming trap. A lot of religions promote this mentality as well. This is why so many people are unhappy.

Part of learning about happiness is about learning about yourself! Who you are? Who you are not? Who do you want to be? Learning that being selfish can in fact be a very good thing, it helps you set up boundaries! It helps you to say no to things that you don’t want to do. It help you to grow and discover new things. It helps you to take back your personal power!

I always get a kick out of people who freak out over Tarot decks. The two cards they usually go nuts over are the Devil  and the Death card. The Devil is the best one to get, it usually reminds you that you need to stop giving away your personal power and stop playing the starring role as the victim! It’s about set boundaries, be it with family, friends or co-workers. It actually gets you to finally participate in your own life. It helps you to move out of being stuck and unhappy. It allows you to let go of friends that aren’t where you’re at right now. This is in no way a rejection or a judgement on them. If your paths are meant to cross in the future they will.

Now to the Death card, people always assume this card means that someone is going to die! Well yes and no! It is the ending of how they’re life has been up to this point. It is the new beginning for how they want to move they’re life forward.  Examples: Single person is getting married. It is the death of they’re single life and the beginning of they’re married life. The Death card is a blessing since it means that there is a new beginning coming.

Happiness is within all of us, it was never outside of us. I’m not going to say this is a mind-set. It is actually about self discovery and uncovering or pulling back the layers on yourself and finding those great things about yourself that you love and like. This is not about someone’s opinion of your or they’re judgement of you. They don’t get to have a say in this! Why? Because this is not they’re life! If your constantly surrounded by people who tear you apart or toxic people. You might need to start cleaning house. Caller Id is our best friend and so is voice mail, start screening those calls. These are the best ways to get rid of toxic people if your lousy at boundaries.

You will start to notice the more these people aren’t in your life, the better you start to feel. You will finally find out what it feels like to be calm. Most people find out that they’re less depressed. Once you find that calmness and inner peace you will never let someone take that from you again. Surprise that is what happiness is! Being at peace with yourself whether you have someone in your life or not. It about not having Drama in your face 24 x 7.

Unfortunately, they didn’t do a movie about this! Why? It wouldn’t sell! So start taking life one day at a time and start seeing how you start to feel. Oh and be sure to hit the off button on the cell phone it allows for sometime to yourself that you’re not being tracked down by the electronic age.

Penny J.

Raven Hawke, Llc (MN, USA)

http://www.ravenhawke.net

http://www.facebook.com/ravenhawkellcusa