Cleaning House In Our Lives

Since about September its felt as though we need to do a thorough house cleaning in our homes as well as our lives. The dusting and sweeping and shaking of rugs. In some cases it is literally dusting those cobwebs out of our house and our lives. Some of those cobwebs masquerade as concerned family and friends. Others might be nosy co-workers.

As we give those rugs a good shake and the dust and dirt fall outside. It makes our living space feel somewhat lighter. Similar to when we get rid of toxic people from our lives. We can start to think and breathe easier. Eliminating those people who don’t respect boundaries in our life, by screening calls or even blocking their phone numbers. Just as we get rid of clothing that no longer fits and letting go of relationships that been out grown.

This feeling has become stronger as we’ve gotten closer to the end of the year. Getting rid of things that we never liked. By being more true to who we are; and being someone we aren’t to please other people. Speaking up more rather than being PC. Finding our voice rather than holding on to anger and allowing it to build. Spending time to get to know yourself and find out who you really are! Instead of trying to be someone you’re not just to please others. That in and of itself is a losing battle into insanity.

Penny J. (MN, USA)

Raven Hawke, Llc





There is nothing uglier than the ending of a marriage. It can be very brutal, anything you thought you knew about the person you were married are quickly dispelled.

It’s like a declaration of WAR! The gloves quickly come off and the rules get thrown out the window. If your one of those fortunate to not have had a divorce like that. I say you are truly blessed to have had a divorce that was civilized and without punches. Especially if you have children involved in the divorce process.

Many are not so lucky! If you didn’t have children or pets to fight over in the divorce process you are still lucky even though the process was HELL!

Divorce, brings out the very worst in any human being. It is raw and vulnerable. Divorces that involve children are one of the worst. It’s like watching a boxing match. Very brutal! The casualties are usually the children that are being fought over in the divorce.

This WAR usually does not end with the custody battle. If it did that would be more merciful! No it continues into the Child Support and Parenting Issues. Each parent trying to strike back at the other for imagined or real hurts.

They often lose sight of the child, when they fight over the child support money. The child quickly gets lost in all of this. It’s almost like a game of Chess and the child or children quickly become treated like the inanimate pawns of the game. No thought is ever given to the children when one parent takes a verbal swing at the other in front of that child.

The verbal wounds still draw blood. Maybe you can’t see the blood you’ve drawn, because that child is bleeding inside. These wounds still go very deep. For children that have lived through domestic violence and watched the horror one one parent beating the shit out of the other parent. It magnifies when the other parent threatens to murder the other parent over alimony or child support in front of the child these are only horrors that some can only imagine. For the rest that have lived through it. It makes marriage and divorce look like a living hell!

This is why the Judge, pulls both parents aside and asks them to remember their children; because parenting is a live time it doesn’t end with the Divorce.

Penny J.

Raven Hawke, Llc (MN, USA)



Reading Your Favorite Books

Lately I found myself pulling out some books that I truly cherish. I have been reading four books at once. Each one has something to offer me. I read a little from each book til I’m full of that book and then move to the next book. Sometimes I read them in a different order. Each book is feeding a part of my soul. No one book is more important than the rest. It is like being surrounded by supportive friends. Each has something delicious to share. Each has something to add.

It’s like having your favorite friends over and each person has brought something for the meal. That’s exactly what it feels like a meal. It is what sustains the soul to get through each day and face each challenge! To know that you are not alone. Others have gone before you and have faced similar challenges and taken their spin on the situation and either tried to kick the obstacle in their way or to think about another way of attack until they felt that they could over come the obstacle. Reflection is a very nice tool. It allows you to look at the past successes and failure objectively. Sometimes there was never a way to win the situation and it was a way to pull you back onto your path.

Sometimes because we are more seasoned, can recognize those battles that we can and can not win. Sometimes its a team effort and not a solo venture? Either way we learn something. It’s really about getting past all the drama and giving it your best and if your best isn’t good enough then that’s just too bad. This is not about pass/fail it’s about growth.

Each of these books is a strategy to help you rally your efforts to achieve and concur those obstacles in life!

Penny J.

Raven Hawke, Llc   (MN, USA)