Are You A Whole Person or A People Pleaser?

We currently have a world where it seems like the inmates of an insane asylum are running this planet. Do you constantly look over your shoulder figuratively as well as literally? Almost as if you don’t somehow live up to someone elses standards you will be discovered to be somehow lacking! Are you living your life or just going through the motions? Do you even know who you are?

What does it mean to be a whole person! It means that you’re not perfect, you are exactly as nature intended you to be. It is those flaws that make you who you are! When you don’t have all that pressure to be perfect in everyone’s eyes. You actually gain some breathing room to live your life and make mistakes and sometimes stumble along the way til you find the path that is right for you! Not someone else’s path or walking in someone else’s shoes to live their dreams for them.

Life is to be lived and not a spectator sport. That means you will make mistakes. You will look back at some parts of your life and its okay to feel embarrassed about things that you did in your youth. That is what’s called growth. You acknowledge the mistakes, move on and don’t keep beating yourself up for things that are in the past. You might know how to handle those situations now in the present or not. If not you, find someone who does and learn from them. Either way this is growth!

If we never had change we would just stagnate and die. That’s how a species goes extinct. When you live up to other Peoples standards, which can be stressful and sometimes an impossible task to master. There is a trade-off! Are you starting to lose yourself as a person or even your soul to be someone you’re not? It is our imperfections that make us stand out from others be it good or bad. When you actually start to make peace with who you are as a person. You start become more calm. You can still change the things that you would like to tweak about yourself within reason.

This is growth, when you come to terms with faults and strengths. All of us have both light and dark so to speak. It is what makes us whole. You can temper some of your traits that you consider undesirable by allowing yourself to play more. What do I mean by that. If you have a temper, you allow yourself to express yourself in healthy ways so you don’t explode later in a work environment. Some people allow themselves to express this in sports, while others use journaling as an outlet. Some choose to talk to a therapist. This allows them to be who they are while learning tools of healthy expression.

In most current work environments there can be bosses that are very antagonistic. Where if you really said what was on your mind you might lose your job. One way is to right down everything you’d like to say to this person’s face. One it allows you to express yourself in a healthy way. If you have a fire pit or wood fireplace, you can burn what you’ve written as a way to release it.

Over time we start to face our dark side, this is not a bad thing. It is actually very healthy. It allows us to see ourselves in a new light without judging ourselves. By allowing it out to play. It allows us to be in control of our dark side without it controlling us. It starts to soften some of those rough edges that we didn’t like before. It is our dark side that might have given us protection when we were a child. It might be a part of us that was rejected or judged as a child.

When we actually, explore this side of ourselves without judgement. We start to see where it originally came from. We can decide, if we want to make changes as an adult or if we’re fine with it as is? It can be very comforting to allow it to just be. This is about your personal journey and not someone elses. It might feel good to yell and scream in your car about something or someone who has upset you. It’s when we hold all of our emotions in and never allow ourselves feel that we start to make ourselves sick.

In some regards, we’re surrounded by fake people with their politically correct bullshit and this fluffy bunny shit about sending it love. If you don’t feel like doing any of that shit. Don’t there is no karma for actually having feelings and emotions. The only person you have to please is yourself. This culture of acting like a martyr is so restrictive it can feel like you’re wearing a straight jacket.

When you start to except yourself for who you are! You will start to find more calm in your life. You don’t get brownie points for keeping antagonistic people in your life. The last thing you need is people who are constantly picking you apart. Especially when they refuse to actually look at their own lives. By starting to live your life on your own standards you be taking steps to allow yourself to heal and grow as a person.

Penny J. (MN, USA)

Raven Hawke, Llc

http://www.ravenhawke.net

info@ravenhawke.net

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