There is nothing uglier than the ending of a marriage. It can be very brutal, anything you thought you knew about the person you were married are quickly dispelled.
It’s like a declaration of WAR! The gloves quickly come off and the rules get thrown out the window. If your one of those fortunate to not have had a divorce like that. I say you are truly blessed to have had a divorce that was civilized and without punches. Especially if you have children involved in the divorce process.
Many are not so lucky! If you didn’t have children or pets to fight over in the divorce process you are still lucky even though the process was HELL!
Divorce, brings out the very worst in any human being. It is raw and vulnerable. Divorces that involve children are one of the worst. It’s like watching a boxing match. Very brutal! The casualties are usually the children that are being fought over in the divorce.
This WAR usually does not end with the custody battle. If it did that would be more merciful! No it continues into the Child Support and Parenting Issues. Each parent trying to strike back at the other for imagined or real hurts.
They often lose sight of the child, when they fight over the child support money. The child quickly gets lost in all of this. It’s almost like a game of Chess and the child or children quickly become treated like the inanimate pawns of the game. No thought is ever given to the children when one parent takes a verbal swing at the other in front of that child.
The verbal wounds still draw blood. Maybe you can’t see the blood you’ve drawn, because that child is bleeding inside. These wounds still go very deep. For children that have lived through domestic violence and watched the horror one one parent beating the shit out of the other parent. It magnifies when the other parent threatens to murder the other parent over alimony or child support in front of the child these are only horrors that some can only imagine. For the rest that have lived through it. It makes marriage and divorce look like a living hell!
This is why the Judge, pulls both parents aside and asks them to remember their children; because parenting is a live time it doesn’t end with the Divorce.
Raven Hawke, Llc (MN, USA)